GUru SHonki

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Come and meet Guru Shonki. He will read your mind. He will read your cards. He will communicate with you telepathically. Feel the wind as he takes you on a journey over the oceans and when you open your eyes, your wallet and Guru Shonki will be gone.

Guru Shonkiu

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Guru Shonki is a dodgy Clairvoyant. From the moment you walk into his misty tent you notice that he is having trouble keeping his beard attached to his face. He will read your tarot cards, he will tell what a good person you are by the shape of your wrinkles.

“ I think you will win the iPad” He’ll tell you “ Yes you win the iPad” 

Then he gives you this:  

You place the mask over your eyes and he takes you on a journey through the Astral Plane. You will feel the ocean spray (probably a spray bottle ) and feel the wind (definitely a leaf blower) as you Astral travel over the ocean.

You’ll giggle, you’ll snort, you won’t know what’s coming next. It’s deliciously, unashamedly, wonderfully lame.